That's it. I'm freaking DONE.
Let me 'splain. No, there is too much, let me sum up.
Stuffing: burnt.
Chicken: stuck to pan.
Stuffing: drowned by too much stock after it was burnt.
Gravy: refused to thicken.
Blake: Grouchy.
Rory: Hell on wheels.
Rayna: Sitting, babbling to herself.
Jabber Jaw, the Fat Hamster: MIA.
Me: thankful I stood firm on not letting that stray kitty into the house...
~Ali
For the last several weeks, that cowboy of mine has been skulking around the house in a funk. He's angry, he's depressed, and he's lost. And my heart bleeds for the boy but he's been driving me nuts.
Today, however, he's much more chipper and it scares me. The last time something like this happened, he'd joined forces with an um, old friend of mine and located my daughter that I'd been forced to give up when I was 22. So, now he has me paranoid. I haven't any other skeletons in my closet so I know he can't be planning anything like that but...
Will keep you informed. And that reminds me, I don't think I've ever mentioned my reunion with Rhi. *thinks* Yeah, might have to give you some intel on that one later.
~Ali and her Oddly Acting Husband
Despite the bitching, the bickering, and the pointing of fingers, most of our stay was uneventful, if a bit stressful. I tried not to let on because Blake would insist on doing what he thought was the right thing, and I just knew that that would cause so many more problems. I figured that I was a big girl and could deal with it for his sake. And Rayna’s not old enough for it to affect her. Much.
Things wouldn’t stay that way, however.
So anyway, I can’t even begin to tell you how hard this trip home has been on us as a family. We’d only been ‘home’ for a few days when Blake got some bad news. Well, sorta. It was one of those kinds of bad news that really can be good news if you look at it in the right perspective. I got it right away. Blake tried and eventually gave in. His family? Not so much.
And yup, you guessed her Chester – it’s all my fault.
Probably doesn’t help that it arrived on his birthday. While he was at home. Surrounded by his family. And I was playing odd man out and losing.
Sigh.
We were in bed (yeah, I know) when his phone rang. We’d had a late night the night before for several reasons and what you’re thinking now is only part of it (albeit the best part). So, we were snuggled and snoozing off and on, taking advantage of the kids actually sleeping in a bit. Unfortunately, we’d been expecting a all from Billy (that’s not the unfortunate part, the next bit is) so he didn’t even look at the display before he answered his phone.
I watched him answer his phone, happily expecting Billy or Shana, calling to give us an update on the baby that was so close to arriving. Instead, I watched as his bright smile faded and his eyes clouded over. Not good. Blake almost never lets his feelings show like this. Not even when it’s just ‘us’.
He mumbled something into the phone, snapped it shut and threw it across the bedroom, putting a hole in the wall near the dresser. This concerned me more than anything; he is a lot of things but violent is not one of them. Ever.
Turns out, he had right. The president of his label, and I’ll be classy enough not to tell you that it’s JASON MACKENNAH, calls my husband not just on his birthday but on his vacation to tell him they’ve decided the effort is not worth the reward. Translation: Blake no longer has a job. Yeah, you got it, they booted him off the label and bought out his contract simply because he wanted to be around when his daughter was born, and to spend a little time with his family. Outrageous. Pisses me off. I mean, really – others have taken much, much more time off for sillier reasons and never suffered any sort of backlash for it. Maybe its just Blake, chastising him because he’s not the next Tim McGraw or Kenny Chesney when instead, he’s just a guy with a good voice and a whole lot of passion and no more ambition than to go out and do what he does best.
Those are always my favorite kinds of singers anyway. They have nothing to prove and all they want to do (oh oh oh oh oooooh..)is to go out and entertain. Makes sense to me.
But apparently not to Blake’s record label.
Poor guy is heartbroken. And yeah, like I said earlier, his family is blaming me for all that’s happened. If I hadn’t INSISTED he take so much time off and DEMANDED so much of his time, maybe, just maybe he’s still have a job.
Double sigh.
I won’t get into the battles that ensued between his mother, his father, his sister, his stepmother and I that afternoon either. I’m ashamed that I couldn’t control myself on Blake’s birthday, especially after such bad news, but neither could I let them all place the blame on my shoulders.
I don’t know what to do for him. He’s helped me out when I’ve needed it the most, but right now, I’m just stuck. I’ve partially convinced him that this is a good thing – more time at home, more time to concentrate on his song writing (which suffers when he’s on the road so much), but yet, he feels bad. Feels like he should be the one supporting the family and making the money. I think someone forgot to tell him that he has enough stashed that it’ll be okay if he takes a few weeks off.
Ugh. If only Billy wasn’t so busy enjoying his new son. I know he’d know how to help me. Might have to kidnap Daddy later…
Pray for me? I think I need it these days.
~A sad and worried Cookie
The Cowoby and I spent most of this day getting stuff together and hitting the airport to fly down to his hometown, just off the beaten path outside of Tulsa, OK. Now, I've been all over the world but haven't ever spent much time in Oklahoma, so I wasn't sure what to expect when we arrived. Things weren't as green as I had expected, due to the drought and fires that wipe out the state nearly every year, but it was pleasant and very small-town. The weather was warm and humid, and poor Rory, his little curls were frizzing like there was no tomorrow. I'd never tell his father this, but he looked like a male Shirley Temple. It's very odd when you think that he arranged for his ex-wife Dana to pick us up at the airport instead of his mom or his sister. I guess that just tells you something about my relationship with his family. I get along better with his ex than I do with his parents or siblings. Go me. But then, Dana actually has a sense of humor. And she likes me. So there. Dana and Blake were very covert about the whole operation, getting all five of us back to Blake's farm just outside the town limits of his small, secluded home town of Karma, OK. I think that if he'd still lived within the town, then we'd have been spotted a lot sooner than we were, but as it was, we were safe for most of the afternoon following the trip home. We were found at around dinner time. Lucky us. His sister caught us. His brother interrupted us. His mother screamed at us. His father, well, we're not gonna go there because Blake refuses to tell me anything about that conversation. *sigh* Why can't our families just be accepting of who we are and who we love and just get over themselves? All three of my brothers took bitchy, snarky trophy wives that they don't even care about, yet they look good on paper (and in the newspapers together). But do I judge? No. I love my nephews despite the fact their parents are idiots. And I never, never tell them that to their faces. I am so angry any more that I almost wish that transfer to Dublin would come through for me. Yeah, I know, it'd piss Blake off, and we'd REALLY never get any time together, but at least I wouldn't be causing a rift between him and his family like I have been. Oh, and don't mention that last part to Blake, please. He doesn't even know I put in for that transfer. I think he'd have a major moo-moo if I did. And I can't quite blame him. But I mean, especially after this trip, I'm at a loss. What do I do? Do I stay home alone for every holiday with Rayna since they accept RORY but not RAYNA nor ME? Or, do I turn bitch and make him stay home with US and not go home to be with his family? I'd really rather not do that because while his place IS with US, it's just not right. I may hate my family but they're the only one I have. I dunno anymore. *snicker* Wonder what Gaelic sounds like with a southern accent? ~Your Conflicted Cookie
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