Inconsistencies

So, you see, I have this certain officer of higher rank that is a bit of a thorn in my side. He’s so very particular about things that it drives me nuts. He’ll stop mid-stride to pick up the smallest scrap of paper off the floor, even if I’m right behind him with the vacuum. Or, worse yet, he’ll stop everything to straighten a crooked book or pile of folders. ARGH! This minute attention to detail wouldn’t be so horribly annoying if he weren’t so inconsistent.

Using the restroom after him is a joke. Paper towels miss the trashcan. Droplets sprinkle the floor surrounding the toilet. And what’s the most irritating part? Water splashed all over the faucet and countertop. Not such a big deal right? But when he’s so anal about everything else, you’d think he’d pay more attention. But no such luck. Too easy, I think.

Being the preggo cow that I am, I just wandered into the kitchenette our little block of offices share so we don’t have to keep leaving our posts to hit the mess hall. There were splashes of coffee all over the kitchen counter. Rice stuck to the inside of the sink. Some sort of gravy-type-sauce splattered in the microwave.

What the hell?

Can you either be a total slob or an obsessive cleaner? Please? Just choose one or the other and stop annoying me with your inconsistent behavior! This child of mine is about to unleash the holy horror of preggo hormones on you if you aren’t careful!

*deep breaths*

Okay, I think I’m better now. So, where’s the chocolate?