Thursday, November 29, 2007

So is That Why…

…they call them hot dogs?

*blows on fingers*

Duh, Ali Rae, why else do you think? Eh, who knows these days? I sure don’t. Preggo brain has officially taken over. Kicked my hormones ass and have taken control of my body. Do I hear the X-Files theme playing?

No? Maybe it’s just me then.

I can’t remember crap. Lose my car keys when they’re in my hand. Oh, and the best part? I forget what I’m saying halfway through a sentence. Explain that one to me.

I do have to say though Blake is rather enjoying himself these days. He says he enjoys being the ‘rational one’. As freaking if. I’m at the point of wondering whether it’s a good thing he’s decided to stop touring until after Rayna’s born or not. Scary thought – he told me he was tempted to take a whole year off and stay home.


But seriously, I’m thrilled he’s so happy and excited not just about Rayna, but about his son, Rory too. Rory’s been missing his daddy lately, so it’s nice to have him home for that reason. Even if he IS driving me batty. But, to hear Blake tell it, it’s part of his job. Says it was in the fine print on the back of the marriage certificate.

Freaking men anyway!


Suppose I’ll survive. Like Bill Engvall says, “I don’t have a problem going back to jail, son.”

~Ali, Rayna, the hormones and the attitude…

Monday, October 22, 2007

Just My Luck...

Suppose this means I ought to watch my backside from now on. I doubt anyone's going to be scared off by this... This nimble patronus looks like a combination of a penguin and a wolverine. It's body distorts strangely as it moves.

LOL But seriously... can you imagine? Penguin is odd enough but part wolverine? Oooh... only if it's Hugh Jackman...


Sorry Blake, I was just joking. No, really, I didn't mean it. Honest. And why would I know you were reading over my shoulder anyway?

Oh, yeah, right. I forgot. My fault.

(Psst... he has a bad habit of ALWAYS reading over my shoulder... sigh) If he's not careful, I'm gonna wave my wand of ash and cowboy beard hair and smack him upside the head with a cosmic sphere of drooling.

Ooops... Too late! *ducks quickly* And to think he'd hit a preggo. HMPH! I think he needs to buy me ice cream now. Whaddaya think?

No? I bet Billy would. Lemme call and find out...

*whispers* Isn't it amazing how fast threats work with the man? *smiles proudly as her man pulls on his boots and heads out to get ice cream*

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Today's Thought

Your plan to pen your memoir seems like a waste of time when you realize that your life story has already been described in thousands of odes to mediocrity -- better known as country songs.

Hmm... I wonder if I should mention this to Blake?


But, it leads you to wonder - What would my memoirs be like? Part horror novel, part sleazy romance novel, part country song for sure...

The horror of growing up in a family like mine. Father who never wanted me. Abusive brothers. Apathetic mother.

I got married when I was 16, just to get away from my family. Had a torrid relationship with my husband until I was forced to leave him behind when he threatened my best friend and adopted brother. Then there was the delicious hooking up with my blue-eyed co-worker after losing my husband. And, no matter how hard I try to forget, there was the hooking up with my psycho commanding officer as well... *shudder*

Well, in my defense, he seemed like a nice, normal guy at the time.

And the sleazy part... well, Blake, my new husband, knows all about that one. Heh. Heh. Heh...

Sorry, got sidetracked there a moment. But seriously, I found him while he was already dating someone else, someone younger and prettier. But apparently she didn't have my skills, or something because he left her and came a-runnin'.

And the country song part? Hmm... wanna list?

Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo to start

The More I Drink is a nice chaser

I'm Not Strong Enough to Say No describes a huge chunk of my life, Blake included...

Some Beach ~ Need I say more? Didn't think so

Online... *snort*

What Was I Thinkin' and how often have I wondered just that?

Last Dollar (Fly Away) something I think we can all relate to...

... I could go on and on and on... but I doubt either of us really has that much time. But I can say this much: If I had to pick a theme song for my memoirs, it'd be Playboys of the Southwestern World. Why? Well, it's the very first line of the song that clinches it: "This is a song about best friends..." and where would you be without your friends?

~Ali and John Roy, a boy I knew since he was 3 and I was 2...

Friday, September 28, 2007


Okay, I swear... this will be the last one. It's gotta be or I'm gonna get caught. LOL Seeing as I'm pregnant, I just couldn't resist doing this one...


Your Celebrity Baby Name Is...
Saffron Poppy


Your Celebrity Baby Name Is...
August Science


Your Celebrity Baby Name Is...
Luna Jazz


Your Celebrity Baby Name Is...
Tryumph Sirius

NOW he's really gonna shoot me...


Yeah, well, what can I say? These Blogthings are addicting...

Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!
This may be hard for you to swallow, but you and your guy might not lastAt least not forever. He's somewhere between Mr. Right... and Mr. Right NowNo doubt your guy is a great catch - and generally good to youThe odds are, however, that someone better is out there!

Not sure I wanna tell Blake about this one... LOL

My Karaoke Song...

Since I seem to have been neglecting ya'll lately, thought I'd have a little fun...

Your Karaoke Theme Song is "Baby Got Back"
You're a total show off who is willing to risk looking like a fool to get a few laughs.In fact, you'll go for the cheap laugh if you need to... because it's better than no reaction!
Your friends can count on you to get a party started, and you'll party hard until you can't remember their names.You're charismatic, charming, and a total character. With or without a few drinks in you.
You might also sing: "I Touch Myself," "Oops I Did it Again," or "My Humps"
Stay away from people who sing: "Candle in the Wind"

And yeah, Blake's still laughing...

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Drunk Blogging

The Top 5 Reasons why Ali should not blog while drinking:

#5: She tends to ramble a LOT and gets off topic very easily. You remember that night, Albie, that we went to the karaoke bar? Yeah, that one, down off The Strip. Yeah. That was the night I first thought about a blog. Not that it happened right away because Andy had this idea and… what?

#5: She gets very irritated very easily (even more than normal, believe it or not) and starts to yell foul things at the computer when she can’t type properly because she can’t see the keys. Like now. $%^@! Keyboard! TYPE!

#3: Did I mention that she gets off topic really easily? And has an awful time finding her way back again. She’s still in the corner rambling on to her brother about a night in a bar somewhere in Vegas. *shakes head*

#2: She gets awfully frisky and I’d really, really hate for her to be wasting all that well-deserved friskiness on the computer. A man’s got needs ya know…

And the #1 reason why Ali should not be let near her blog while drinking is…

HEY! WAIT!! SHE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRINKING ANYWAY!!!!!!!! (Sheesh, I guess it’s a good thing it’s ME that’s drinking and blogging and not her huh?)

~Blake and his Bacardi

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


So, you see, I have this certain officer of higher rank that is a bit of a thorn in my side. He’s so very particular about things that it drives me nuts. He’ll stop mid-stride to pick up the smallest scrap of paper off the floor, even if I’m right behind him with the vacuum. Or, worse yet, he’ll stop everything to straighten a crooked book or pile of folders. ARGH! This minute attention to detail wouldn’t be so horribly annoying if he weren’t so inconsistent.

Using the restroom after him is a joke. Paper towels miss the trashcan. Droplets sprinkle the floor surrounding the toilet. And what’s the most irritating part? Water splashed all over the faucet and countertop. Not such a big deal right? But when he’s so anal about everything else, you’d think he’d pay more attention. But no such luck. Too easy, I think.

Being the preggo cow that I am, I just wandered into the kitchenette our little block of offices share so we don’t have to keep leaving our posts to hit the mess hall. There were splashes of coffee all over the kitchen counter. Rice stuck to the inside of the sink. Some sort of gravy-type-sauce splattered in the microwave.

What the hell?

Can you either be a total slob or an obsessive cleaner? Please? Just choose one or the other and stop annoying me with your inconsistent behavior! This child of mine is about to unleash the holy horror of preggo hormones on you if you aren’t careful!

*deep breaths*

Okay, I think I’m better now. So, where’s the chocolate?

Friday, July 20, 2007

Dreaming in the Sun

I know I shouldn’t have, but I just couldn’t bear not to.

Living in D. C. is nothing like living in Vegas. I miss the pure heat of the sun. The way it beats down on you and makes your skin tingle. I miss the way the hot air caresses your skin, raising goose bumps along your arms and legs, and sending a shiver through your body.

Blake thinks I’m crazy.

But then, he’s from a naturally humid area. Warm, yes, but not truly hot, not unless the moisture factor is through the roof. He doesn’t get it.

But I do.

Having spent my childhood on the coast of Massachusetts, I know. I migrated to Nevada after having spent some time out that way, searching for something I was unable to find. I was almost twenty-two and looking for my sanity. I’d lost my husband and my child and thought about why and who and when, and not finding any answers. My friends, and fellow Army brats, Dusty and Andy, took me in and tried their best to help me out, but it was no use. So, instead, we hung out at Dusty’s place in Vegas, drank margaritas, soaked up the sun, and burnt our toes on the hot desert sand. Probably not the best way to ease my depression and heartache, but at that point, I was out of options.

I may not have been able to piece my heart back together at that point, but I was able to mend my aching soul. I attribute it to the healing powers of the desert, but my brother thinks I’m nuts.

That seems to be the general consensus these days.

So, here I am, eleven years later, and pregnant again. Back home for just a couple days. I begged for leave the moment my Cowboy told me he had a show here, in what has become my true home. Being with him here, in my much neglected home, was too much of a call to ignore. We were married here, in this house, in this beloved desert of mine. How could I not want to go?

He’s gone now, left early this morning. I’m alone, aside from Blake’s young son, Rory, who’s sound asleep in his crib. At last check, he had his stuffed bass tucked under his chin, thumb in his mouth. A perfect opportunity for a bit of ‘me time’, something I don’t get much of.

Excuse me while I stretch and yawn, this warmth always makes me sleepy. I’d better get up and slather on more sunscreen before I drift off. Rory will be up and eager again before too long, so I might as well enjoy the quiet and spend a bit more time dreaming in the sun.

Monday, July 16, 2007

I Believe…

… that guns don’t kill people. Husbands who come home early do. Or so says Jeff Foxworthy.

Which brings me to where I am right now. What do I really believe? About me, my life, my love, my family?

I’ll start with the easy part first, my family. I believe that I have finally found just the right mix of serious and insane, enough down-to-earth to balance out the not-so-much-so. Between my adopted brother and my best friend, I think there lays a lot of grey area. A gaping grey area filled with people like my Cowboy, ‘Zook, Tim, Andy, Jo, Billy, Bucky and my Cowbaby. And there’s more, too many more to mention here and now.

Notice I didn’t mention any blood relatives? That’s because they are so not in my realm of family. My brothers hate me and my parents are just indifferent. Make for a fun life, doesn’t it? And as for my Cowboy’s family, I think they may just hate me even more than my own does, which is quite the accomplishment, if you ask me.

This is the reason I’m so thankful for Albie and even ‘Zook, they keep me smiling when I want to murder someone. Red and Billy give me reason to be relieved when the Cowboy and I fight. Seeing another couple so much in love that fights more than we do? It’s reassuring. It’s not always all that pleasant because ticking Scarlett off is never a smart thing to do, but it is comforting to know you’re not alone. Jo and Tim, I think, are the only two middle-of-the-road people I know. And God love them for putting up with all the rest of us.

What can I say about Rory, aka Bucky, and the little Cowbaby to be? Aside from the fact that they are a constant reminder to me of why I should NOT to murder their father? Kids change your life and Rory has gone above and beyond in that area. He’s brought so much joy, light, love and chaos into an already crazy home…

In the realm of my family, I believe that I am blessed.

My life is a much harder topic to tackle. My job sucks most days and I never know what’s going to happen next. My superiors are overbearing, obnoxious jerks that live to make my life difficult. However, seeing as they’re protecting the fate of the free world, would I really expect anything less? Would I want anything less? Probably not.

Being stuck on indefinite desk duty is a chore. No idea even when I’ll be allowed to get back to the real aspects of my job once this little one arrives. Six months? A year? And what will the Cowbaby’s Daddy say when that time comes around again? I dread that moment. It will not be a happy point in our relationship I’m thinking…

I believe that I may just survive my life as a soldier tied to a desk, just as long as they don’t make me stay here.

Which leaves me with the state of my love life… over the last year, it’s had its ups and downs, but I’ve, we’ve, managed to make it through. I do believe we’ve come out of all this crap stronger, happier, and a much more solid couple. Couple of what, however, remains to be seen.

But I digress…

My Cowboy hasn’t ever been made to be responsible for himself, let alone a wife and a young child. Rory was the surprise that changed his life, his attitude, and our relationship. His sudden appearance in our life made us reevaluate how and why we were together. And I think he’s come to understand that, since taking in and taking on a child that’s not even mine, that I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon. Something that, just a few months ago, he refused to believe was possible. As a matter of fact, that was something he was sure of just a few months ago. Confessing that small bit of information to me has always left me wondering why he’d proposed in the first place. If he didn’t think here was where I wanted to be, why ask? But, then, you have to consider the source on that one.

I’ll never regret this trip he and I are making together. There are days when I wonder why I worked so hard to get the right to be his woman, ask myself why I couldn’t just let him go… But then, Rory will give me one of his daddy’s smiles, and those little blue eyes will shine with joy and I know: This is what it’s all about. Being mom to this little boy has been an adventure; I cannot wait to see what his sister is like. After all, she’s not just part Cowboy; she’s going to be part me as well. God help her. I’m thankful he loves us all enough to not go postal on us all.

I believe that I’ve found the man of my dreams, and that he just may be a bit of a hopeless romantic at that… There’s no other explanation, is there?

~Ali, overflowing with hormones…

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


• A
Are you available?: Nope
What is your age?: 33 tomorrow, tomorrow…

• B
Do you know anyone named Brian?: Yes! Does he owe you money too?
When is your birthday?: July 11th

• C
What's your favorite candy?: Any kind with sugar?
What kind of car do you drive?: Jeep

• D
Do you daydream?: Yeah
What's your favorite kind of dog: Basset hound

• E
How do you like your eggs?: Depends on who’s cooking them.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?: Oy and Vey. Too many times.
Ever pet an elephant?: No

• F
Do you use fly swatters? Nooooo…
Is there a fan in your room?: Two. :)

• G
Do you chew gum?: Yep.
Do you like gummy candies?: Again, do they have sugar?
Do you like gorey movies?: YEAH!

• H
How are you?: Pregnant. Need I say more?
What's your height?: 6’ 1”
What color is your hair?: Brown w/some encroaching grey…

• I
What's your favorite ice cream?: cake batter
Have you ever ice skated?: Yes
Ever been in an igloo?: Yes and would have rather skipped that assignment…

• J
Favorite Jelly Bean: MARGARITA!
Do you wear jewelry: Yeah

Who do you want to kill?: Nobody currently.
Have you ever flown a kite?: Yeah
Do you think kangaroos are cute? Hmm, how close am I?

Are you laidback?: Sometimes
Lions or tigers?: BEARS!
Do you like black licorice?: EEEW!

• M
Favorite store at the mall?: Which mall?
Favorite movie?: Tombstone

• N
Do you have a nickname?: None that I can print. :) Cookie and Jaye usually.
Do you prefer night or day? Day

• O
Are you an only child?: No.
Do you like the color orange?: Prefer green. *snort*

• P
Do you know anyone named Penelope?: Not that I know of. If SHE owes you money, it's not my problem.
Are you quick to judge people?: I try not to be.

• R
Do you think you're always right?: No
Do you watch reality TV?: Bleh.

• S
Do you prefer sun or rain?: Rain? What’s rain?
Do you like snow?: See igloo question.

• T
What time is it?: 12:24 PM
What time did you wake up? 4 AM

• U
Can you ride a unicycle?: Never had a reason to try.
Do you know anyone with a unibrow?: *snort* *giggle* *choke*

• V
Did you ever watch Veggie Tales?: Never, but I have the feeling I may in the future…

• W
What's your worst habit?: My brother says it's my sarcasm. Can’t imagine where he got that idea at.
What do you want right now?: *cough* Someone, um, I mean someTHING I can’t have…

• X
Have you ever had an x-ray?: Tons!
Ever used a Xerox machine?: Duh! Who hasn't?

• Y
Do you like the color yellow?: Nope.
What year were you born in?: 1974
Do you yell when you're angry?: Yeah. In several languages.

• Z
Do you believe in the zodiac?: Depends on what it’s telling me. LOL

Six lasts:
6. last dream: Heh heh heh…
5. last beverage: Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf iced mocha
4. last phone call: Albie
3. last text message: My Cowboy
2. last time you cried: I’m pregnant! Answer that your damn self!
1. last time you hugged someone? A few hours ago when I dropped Bucky off at daycare…

Who thinks up these questions anyway?

Random Junk...

1. Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
Without a doubt…

2. What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
Shrug my shoulders and call my brother.

3. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?

Not recently.

4. Have you ever fallen down a set of stairs?
*snort* Need you even ASK?

5. Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Yeah baby…

6. Does someone close to you smoke cigarettes?

7. Everybody knows:
That to mess with me is to get your butt kicked.

8. When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them, or let them go?
Why’d they leave? Were they bleeding when they went?

9. Do you still live at home?

Um, well… it’s not the street so yeah…

10. Last time you smiled?
I'm smiling right now. :)

11. What do you do when a telemarketer calls?
Threaten them with bodily harm and then gently hang up.

12. Would life be the same without alcohol?

*cough* Alcohol? What makes you think I drink? *innocent eyes*

13. Who do you have a crush on?

…shhhh… noone’s supposed to know about Billy!

14. Have you had "the best night of your life?"
Of course. Several. Recently too.

15.Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
Yeah, why? Does he owe you money?

16. Where is your brother right now?

Pacing the floor, waitin’ on his woman.

17. Name five things you did today?
1. Showered
2. Cleaned my guns
3. Fed the kid
4. Threatened some unruly subordinates
5. Cuddled my honey.

18. What are you listening to?

Tracy Byrd (shhh… don’t tell the Cowboy…)

19. What do you smell like?
Baby powder. Thanks a lot, Rory.

20. Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill?

Yeah. In a tank too.

21. Are you married?


22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
Real or adopted? Avoid the real siblings but love my adopted brother. Talk to him daily.

23. Can you play an instrument?

Sure can. Up for some bagpipes?

24. Do you like fire?
Fire! Fire! Fire! Huh huh huh huh…. *snort*

25. Best friend?
Absolutely! Married to one of ‘em.

26. Have you ever been to a spa?
Not my thing…

27. Do you miss someone?
Yeah, I do Cowboy…

28. Do they miss you?

29. Ever been stuck in an elevator?

*grins evilly* Yeeeeaaaaah…

30. What does your dad call you?
Damnit, Allyson! *rolls eyes*

31. What does you hair look like right now?

Um, you’d rather not know. I’ve got helmet hair. LOL

So, are you sorry you asked?

Friday, June 22, 2007

Blake Needs…

How does she convince me to do this kinda crap? Oh, yeah, I forgot about that…

Well, here it is… what Blake needs.

Blake needs…

…to mentally break through against tough Aussie (huh? What’s Keith Urban gotta do with this?)
…an alternative to using the standard joystick (Oh. My. God. Don’t let Ali read this… PLEASE… I can hear her already…)
…a lawyer (what did I do NOW?)
…shades (heeeeeyyy…)
…to hit the salon (is my hair THAT bad?)
…to think outside the beatbox (maybe next album…)
…your votes (hell yeah!)
…to really pay attention to his singing voice (ya’ll trying to tell me something?)
…to be concentrating on a dangerous situation (isn’t that what I got Cookie for?)
…a shower (*sniffs armpits* nah, I’m good…)

What I think Blake REALLY needs is to stop goofing off and listening to his wife’s silly suggestions. But that ain’t gonna happen as long as she’s around. Hey, I may be pathetic, but I am honest.

Huh. I wonder what Billy’s doing…


Rory Needs…

So, now I got to thinking, what does RORY need? Not a lot, I’m sure. A clean diaper, a bottle… his stuffed bass. Nope, apparently NOT…

Rory needs…

…to get to Australia (well, okay, but he IS only seven months old…)
…to find her way (again, see above)
…a break (why? What does he do all day?)
…needs to learn she can’t have everything she wants (AMEN to that, but I think it’s gonna be awhile on that one…)
…an advocate in the U. S. Senate (holy shit…)
…to grow up a lot (well, DUH)
…to get out now (where’s he gonna crawl too?)
…to make her own mistakes (well, yeah HE does)
…to trust her (is this really an issue right now? And who is her anyway?)
…to find someone who comes from a family that’s more down to earth (than what? His own? Amen and Hallelujah to that one! *snort*)

I think Rory’s needs are much more fun than mine. LOL I wonder if I can get Blake to do this now… Hmmm… *scratches head* Gawds only know what HE’LL come up with…

~Ali & Rory Lane

Ali Needs…

Well, Scarlett suggested I do this and since I’m stuck on desk duty until Cowbaby gets here, I figure why not, right? So, I guess, what you do is this: You Google your name and the word needs, all in quotes, then make a list of what you find. Here goes…

What does Ali need (besides a nap)?

Ali needs…

...a passport photo (nope, sorry, got one already)
…his gloves (checks calendar, nope still June…)
…a sig (NOW we’re talking… been tellin’ Cowboy I need a new gun LOL)
…knee surgery (let’s HOPE not, it seems to have healed okay…)
…a real challenge (holy crap! Aren’t Cowboy and Rory enough of one?)
…the data (that’s how my knee got cracked up in the first place you knucklehead!)
…a way more sweeping song than this (what? What’s wrong with Brad Paisley?)
…volunteers who can bake dog biscuits (WTF? She don’t even got a dawg lol)
…to jump off something big again (I’m not even gonna comment… NOPE… not gonna)
…THERAPY! (finally, something I can agree with…)

So, now you’re supposed to underline those that are true. Well, for those of you who know me, you know I’m unable to follow directions. It’s so much more fun to just add running commentary as I go. LOL

Okay… so that killed um, like five minutes. Thanks, Red… I needed that. NOT! Oooh… but now I have an idea…. What is it? Stay tuned…

~Your Bored Ali

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Sexiest Man?

Crappy magazine. Let’s the fans vote on who THEY think is the sexiest man. Hmph. My poor, sexy cowboy didn’t even make the Top Ten. What were these people thinking? Naming Toby #1. HAH, I say. HAH!

But then, I’m thinking I just might be biased. But, then again, maybe not…

How can Kenny or Vince be cuter, hotter, or sexier than MY man? Huh? I just don’t get it. They don’t have his blue, blue eyes and ‘guess-what-I’m-thinkin’-now’ smile. Or those luscious kiss me lips. Gary’s got some nice hair, but nothin’ like my Cowboy’s unruly, rumpled curls. And Keith or Alan? Do you think either of them have HALF my honey’s personality? Not a chance!

It’s all a popularity contest anyway. I really do suppose that the music should come first, but come on! Let’s show some originality here people! Shake things up, come on! We can do it!


Ah well… I guess you can’t have it all, I suppose. It just irks me to no end that it’s always the SAME men every year. And out of the Top Ten? I can count um, let’s see… three that I even think are sexy. About half are cute… but sexy? Not so much. But I voted… and I lost.

Does it count that *I* think he’s the sexiest? Probably not. Oh well… I don’t like it, but I suppose I just gotta live with it. *grumbles loudly* But I refuse to accept it.

There’s always next year, babe. I promise…

~A rather irate and unhappy Ali

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What Do You Get…

…for a man who has everything? Or, close enough to everything. What he doesn’t already have is easily within his reach financially. So, that leaves me with quite the predicament.

What does he get for Father’s Day now?

He’s got a new bow, a fistful of arrows and a new knife. God only knows, he does NOT need another weapon. Of ANY kind. At all. Trust me.

Hats, boots, assorted flannel shirts… tight fittin’ jeans. He’s clothed better than I am most of the time. I’m at a total loss here people.

To make matters worse, his birthday is the day after too. Now I need two things, or at least one nice thing for all he’s done lately. For not leaving me and taking Rory with him. For realizing love is stronger than pride. For one more last chance, if nothing else.

I’m still at a total loss, but I think it’ll be okay. I have a few tricks up my sleeve, pregnant or not. I’d just give him his daughter were she ready to make an appearance. Still just a bit too early for that though. Give her another twenty-seven weeks or so…

I’d better start thinking fast…

Ali, Rory & Cowbaby Makes Three… err four?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Scary Thoughts

I’m still essentially bedridden for another week or so, so I’ve had quite a bit of time to sit and think lately. It must be the meds I’m on or something because the thoughts I was having this morning… Not funny at all.

First and foremost, Blake’s gonna be a daddy. Again. What the hell was I thinking? Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy and I think that, once he gets the hang of caring for an infant, he’ll be fine. And he’ll be good for the kids – firm (I hope!) but also loving and not too serious. But then, can you imagine the man in the delivery room? I have a feeling he’s gonna need his own nurse.

And then there’s school. I can just see Blake going in for a parent-teacher conference. “Yeah, ma’am, I know he’s a trouble maker and a smart mouth. He gets it from his mother.” Or this… “He was fighting? Did he win? Were there any weapons involved? Am I gonna need bail money?”

What about homework? The capital of Nevada is NOT Las Vegas, no matter how much they’d like to think so. The square root of 144 is NOT a Budweiser and a shot of tequila. Taco Bell, KFC, McDonald’s and Hooters are NOT the four major food groups.

Oh gods… I don’t even want to think about what’s going to happen when Rory and our little girl start dating. Rory might be okay but her? Heaven help me, but I think Blake AND my brother BOTH just might make their permanent home on the front porch, each with a rifle close at hand. I may just have to teach her some of my secrets so she can sneak out and have a life once in awhile.

I have a headache now. How do I get myself into these things?


Monday, May 14, 2007

Mother’s Day

Blake and his bright ideas. *hmph*

So, he surprises me totally by not only talking to me on Sunday, but by writing me a song. I don’t know how hard he hit his head, or on what, but I’m sure glad it happened. I’m tired of this emotional roller coaster we’ve been living lately. I’m thankful we have this solved because it’s only gonna get more complicated around here with me being pregnant. And naturally cranky.

Poor Blake. :)

It’s not even been twenty-four hours yet, but we are still getting along, despite the kink in his plans yesterday. He came in with Rory after I found my card, with his guitar strapped across his back. We talked, he sang his song, and then we cuddled for a bit. Once he got the bright idea for a bit more… well, that’s where the trouble started.

Blake suddenly got up and went to put Rory down for his nap. Rory’s a decent napper, so it wasn’t too hard to get him to go lie down. Mr. Sensitive then climbs back into bed with me. I knew exactly what he’d come back for but made him admit it to me first. I tend to be a snot that way.

Apparently, he’d forgotten about my broken ribs.

Needless to say, despite all the maneuvering around my knee brace and only being able to open my mouth halfway due to the slight fracture and all the lovely swelling, he’d forgotten that I was in a TON of pain and unable to take more than a shallow breath. So, in deference to all his sincere attempts at making up and being nice, I tried as best I could to give him what he needed, and wanted, and failed miserably. Sorry Charile, no go.

I felt so bad telling him no but I had no choice. When I told him to try me again in two weeks, the look on his face was priceless! I thought he was either going to break down and cry or throttle me just because. Luckily, he did neither. He just pulled himself together and fell to sleep beside me.

At least one of us got some sleep. I can’t get comfortable in any position and since being weaned off my pain meds, I just don’t have any hope. Ah, well… I can sleep when I’m dead. Until then, I have a baby to care for.

Two, truthfully.

I don’t think he’ll wait two weeks before trying again, but hey, it’s a start right? I just hope we’ve gotten off this path we’ve been trudging and onto a new one, finally. We worked too damn hard to get here; I certainly don’t want it to end here.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I’m So Dead

Blake is so not happy with me. He was happy to the extent that I made it home. Alive. But after that? He’s pretty much stopped talking to me.

I guess I can’t blame him.

If anything happens to this baby I’m carrying, I think it’ll be the end of everything. He’s so ticked that he only talks to me if he has to out of fear he’s going to say something to hurt my feelings. Although, none of that stopped him from telling me he was done. With everything. As soon as I’m healthy, he’s gone.

With Rory.

I can’t let this happen. It took me too damn long to find him, and even longer to keep him. What is it about me? Why the heck can’t I keep a relationship together? The last time he told me he was done, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see him again. This time, I know I won’t.

Gods, I’m such a pathetic whiner.

I need to just get off these pain meds and get my head together. I can’t think straight doped up like this. But damn, I hurt! Oh well. I’ll hurt a heck of a lot more if he leaves me and takes that sweet little boy out of my life. I refuse to let this happen.

The question is how do I convince him I meant no harm when he won’t talk to me? Hmm… I’m going to have to think on this one. I do not give up on anything. Least of all him. I’m not about to wait on him to have a change of heart, although it’s a possibility. He loves Rory so much that I find it hard to believe he’d leave me like this. So, maybe there’s still hope.

All I know is I can’t wait on him to change his mind. I need to change it for him.



Home. She’s home! Well, she’s been home for a coupla days now anyway, but this has been my first break. She’s on bed rest with a couple broken ribs, a fracture in her jaw, a dislocated knee and a ton of cuts, scrapes and bruises. Poor thing.

And a baby.

Yeah. Forgot to mention that, huh? Well, so did she.

In her defense, she took a test and it was negative, but she was still feeling crappy. I dunno why she didn’t listen to her body and went on this stupid assignment anyway. She coulda gotten herself killed. And our baby. I wanna smack her sometimes. But how can I when she does what she does to keep me safe? Me, Rory, and all the rest of the free world.

I’m in a real mess here. I’m totally ticked off at her for putting herself on the line like this, but then I’m also proud that she’d risk her life to save mine, or that of anyone else. So, whaddaya do? I sure as hell don’t know.

But wow. Another baby? What the hell am I gonna do? They’re not even gonna be eighteen months apart. Holy crap! Rory’s already a handful and he’s only six months old. What’s this one gonna be like? Especially being the spawn of me and Ali? I’m scairt.

I think it’s time to start booking my next tour. A LONG one this time.

Tim’s a-callin’ me. Seems Rory is dumpin’ oatmeal all over the floor. Go figure. He’s never done that to me. Yeah, right. And if you believe that… Oh well. Better go rescue my guitar player from that big, bad ol’ baby boy. But I s’pose I shouldn’t tease him. He has been helpin’ me since Ali can’t. I owe him for that at least.

God, give me strength…

~Blake, Rory, and Tim the Terrified…

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Band on the Run

Holy crap! Ali’s only been gone a day and already I’m goin’ off the deep end. Whouda thought a six-month-old kid would be so much trouble? Oh my god. I am so not ready for this.

Two of my band mates, Tim and Randy offered to help me out while she was gone. So has her soon-to-be sister-in-law. But Jo works during the day so it’s been us boys all day. And oh god… Randy’s already bailed on me. The whiner. Gets puked on once and he’s out the door. Freakin’ pansy.

Tim’s been better. But, he’s been hangin’ out with me for a long time now. He says that if I can puke on him and not gross him out, Rory’s not gonna do it. I think he gets diaper duty next. We’ll see what grosses him out.


Okay. Feel better now. Oh no. He’s crying. Again. Just crawled on over and started tuggin’ at my pant legs. What now? He just ate. He’s doesn’t stink. Think, Blake, THINK!

Huh. Imagine that. He wants to be held. I think he’s tired. I know I am. Couldn’t sleep knowing he was down the hall and I didn’t have Ali to cover my ass. Yeah… put your little head down.

My god. This kid gets into everything! Drooled on my damn guitar. Tried to eat my picks. Did eat my new song. Been pukin’ paper all morning. Dumped the clothes off the bed and onto the floor. Puts every damn thing he finds in his mouth. Why didn’t she warn me?


Shh… he’s sleeping. *beams with fatherly pride* He’s so cuuuute! I guess I can do this after all. Don’t suppose I have much choice, do I?


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Hell's Bells

My mood today is pretty crappy. I crawled out of bed and managed not to wake Blake up. That’s a first. He usually cracks an eye when I drag myself out of his arms and makes an attempt to sweet-talk me back into bed with him. I can’t tell you how hard it is some mornings to tell him no.

Like today.

But I knew I had to work, and I knew too, that it was finally time to take fate into my hands. My appointment with Dr. Eddie *cough* Sorry, with Dr. Steele, had been cancelled and rescheduled for ten days from now since it ‘wasn’t an emergency’. Well hell’s bells. I think it’s an emergency. Knowing whether I’m pregnant or not sure as hell qualifies in my book.

But I digress. Since my appointment was cancelled yesterday, I stopped on my way home last night and bought a test. Better than nothing, right? And I haven’t had one lie to me yet.

So, picture this:
me sneaking around the bedroom at four in the morning, praying he stays asleep long enough for me to take this damn pee test and get it over with. For better or for worse. Once I’d dug it out of it’s hiding place, off I went.

I was wrong. I was disappointed. Not half as disappointed as I would have been a month ago, but disappointed all the same. I got one lousy line. ONE!


We still have Rory, and I love that little boy, mine or not, but right now that just doesn’t seem like enough. I know I should give it time, we’ve only been married a couple months, but I just don’t want to wait any more. I’ve waited all my life for him, and ten long years for another chance at a baby of my own. Why should I have to wait any longer?

But that’s just me being selfish. I can wait; I just don’t want to.

I went to toss the test in the trash and thought better of it. Wrapping it in the plastic it came in, I stuffed it into my pocket and guiltily kissed my man good-bye. He gives me a half-hearted protest and falls back to sleep. For sex, he’d manage to stay awake. But not for much else.

And now here I sit, wondering what I’m going to do. I realize now that I forgot to hide the box. I just took the test. Ah, I just might have some explaining to do anyway.

But my question is this… if by some fluke of fate he doesn’t find the box do I tell him anyway? Or do I protect him from the disappointment he felt the last time by not saying a word? I’d never seen such hurt as I did that afternoon all those months ago. I don’t ever want to hurt him like that again.

So, what’s my best option? I sure as hell don’t know.


Saturday, April 21, 2007


Interesting. Sitting here catching up on some paperwork and listening to the radio. Lady DJ just made a comment about how my Cowboy is apparently no longer dating his ex-psycho, Leslie.


Imagine that. Never figured a ring and a child to stop a man from seeing a girl.


Color me surprised. And sarcastic; I know him better than that. Just thought the DJ’s observation amusing since they’ve been apart for quite some time now. Let’s try about as long as *I* have been *in* his life.

Gotta love the media. Always a day late and a dollar short. *laughs* I guess it doesn’t help that he’s been keeping our marriage – and most certainly his child – on the lowdown.

I guess we could always add snotty to my list of traits.

~Yours Always, Sarcastic, Snotty, and Surprised, Ali

Friday, April 20, 2007


So, now we have a baby in the house. Wow.

After delivering Cowboy’s ex-wife to the airport, the three of us spent a few days at my sometimes home in Nevada before packing up and returning to DC, where I needed to be so I could go back to work. I begged a couple extra days off so we could go furniture shopping and, considering the situation, they let me.

Blake managed to find a really nice oak set: cradle, crib, dresser, the whole shebang, that he shelled out a small fortune for. I tried to stop him, but he ignored me rather effectively. I guess it’s his way of apologizing for leaving me with his kid. I found some sheets and such, but we couldn’t agree on a bedding set. I figured that it was warm enough not to worry about and that I could go looking once he hit the road again.

No such luck.

I came home from work after my first day back, to find Blake, on the couch, grinning up at me. Curious, I asked him what he was so happy about. His only answer was, “Follow me.”

So. I follow him back to our son’s new room and almost wet myself laughing. Sometime during the day, he’d managed to go out, baby in tow, to find a freakin’ camouflage bedding set. Green everywhere. Add to the bedding, a camo lampshade, a deer-shaped nightlight and a stuffed bass. And this from the man who told me he was going to burn every green article of clothing I owned.

Why me?

He also found an entire camo outfit for Rory, shirt, pants, hat and socks. Then, then he informs me he’s ordered wooden deer for the walls. They’ll be here in a week. Hell, why not, right? All the kid’s missing is a freakin’ tree stand to sit in when he’s bored.

Guess I’m going to be painting the nursery walls green next weekend.

Huh? What was that? Oh gods…

I’ve just been informed that he’s also ordered tree camo wallpaper. *smacks head into desktop*

Now I’m really dreading my doctor’s appointment next week. I don’t think the world is ready for two mini-Blakes.

Monday, April 16, 2007


I sit and watch as he moves around the room. I often wonder why he’s still here. He’d had better options by far. The one that came before me was younger, prettier, and more in tune with what he did on a daily basis.

She knew his need for freedom; how he couldn’t stand to be held back, even if he was being held in the grip of love. She knew how his only schedule could be complete chaos, while I have a need for more stringent timeframes. She knew and understood the rowdiness, the drunkenness, the obnoxious little boy attitude.

She was anything but right for him, she was straight-up wrong for my Cowboy, but she had so much more to offer him than I do. She was living his dream right alongside him while I can’t ever grasp how it feels to be who he is. Can’t let go enough to allow him to be truly free.

Me, I want to shake him silly, snap him into reality. Make him grow up and be the man I know he can be. I need him to be the man he’s hiding.

But as I sit here, with his son in my arms, I understand that that is not who he is. And it’s not who I want him to be. How could I? That’s not the man I fell so helplessly for.

I can see him looking at me now, wondering how long I’ve been watching him. He has no idea how often I do this, how much I sit and stare and wonder and dream. About him and who he could be; about who he really truly is.

The more I watch; the more I understand. The more I understand; the harder I fall.

I live my life in a constant state of falling… falling in love over and over again.

I just fear the moment I finally hit bottom.

~full of Mixed Emotions,

Holy Frak Batman!

Oh my god… Blake goes missing for two weeks only to reappear last night with a SIX MONTH OLD IN TOW!! I mean I’m glad he’s still breathing and all, but what next? Really?

Turns out the baby was his and he never knew it. She never bothered to tell him either. That is, until she got tired of Mom-Duty and decided to dump it all on him.

What the hell?

So now it’s up to me to raise a child that’s not even mine. How do I get into these situations? When I signed on for this relationship, I knew I’d be raising him and possibly any kids we might have… but his ex-psycho-girlfriend’s baby? Hell no.

But here I am, with little Rory Lane in my lap, and I can’t help but love him. He’s a sweet baby with a pleasant temperament. He has his daddy’s big blue eyes and irresistible smile. And hell, he is just a baby. None of this drama is his fault.

And again… how do I get stuck in these situations? If my Cowboy had a normal job, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. We could work something out… But, he’s on the road close to 300 days a year. How am I supposed to do this alone?

Damn him anyway.


And now I think I may be pregnant too. God help me, I think I need my head checked.

Mama, aka Ali

Sunday, April 15, 2007

What the Hell?

It's been almost two weeks... and no word from my Cowboy. I know that his schedule is hectic, but he always makes time to at least send me a text message with "I'm still breathing" or something similar so I at least know...

But it's been two weeks with nothing. I called after a few days just in case. No answer. I've left a few messages and still nothing. And now I'm starting to get worried.

And that's not a good thing by any means.

I'm not a worrier by nature. The damn government bred that out of me a long time ago. I only worry about now and not then or tomorrow. There's no use. Yesterday is past and I'll only see tomorrow if I'm lucky.


Back to Blake. What's he up to now? And the real question...

Should I be worried?

Your confused Ali

Monday, March 26, 2007


Finally, finally, FINALLY!

And no, I’m not excited just because I finally got laid either. *snicker*

I think that knock-down drag-out Blake and I suffered a couple weeks ago really was progress. He made the effort to go to my favorite taco shop for dinner, got all my usuals, and had them ready for me when I showed up. We talked, we apologized, we even teased.

I’m not sure it’s all ‘fixed’ or that it ever will be, but I’m home again, I’m happy, and he’s on his best behavior. I think there’s hope. And that’s all I need.

Oh, and the sex ain’t all that bad either. *snort*

But, I’ll spare you all the gory details of my sex life. All I can say is… YUM. And now? Now, I’m going back to bed for some um, sleep. Yeah, that’s it. Sleep.

~Your Very Happy Ali and her Cowboy (who is also *extremely* happy…)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Is It Progress?

Or is it Memorex?

Saw Blake last night for the first time since we split up four weeks ago. He and I have made a lot of headway the last few weeks, but still have a long haul ahead. I know now that we should’ve waited to see each other.

We’ve been talking three or four times a week, trying to fix whatever it is we seem to have. It started out slowly, with short conversations. Quickly, we got back to our normal ‘oh-my-god-is-it-really-that-late-already’ kind of calls. It’s been nice being able to talk like adults again, so when he asked me to come see him, I was all for it.

It was too soon.

Everything started out great. Dinner, some good talk, and he made me take my rings back. I thought that was a good sign. It should have been a good sign.

But then, all the old insecurities, the old jealousies reared their ugly heads.

Cheating. I’ve never cheated on him and, as far as I know, neither has he. But, the simple fact that we got together for the first time while he was with someone else makes him wonder why I wouldn’t do it again. He tends to forget that I was single when we did that however…

Fame. His, not mine, obviously. When we met, who he was, was the farthest thing from my mind. All I could see was this funny, handsome man with an amazing voice. I fell in love with his smile and then, later, his sense of humor. His wallet hasn’t ever even entered the picture.

Male Pride. He’s afraid that I’m just biding my time, looking for someone better. Or that I’m going to go back to what I had before. Three words on that one: not freakin’ likely!

It takes everything I have not to slap him silly sometimes. I love him. I married him. Why would I want anyone else? Well… you know what I mean. So, I think we took three steps backwards last night. I just hope his stupid pride will let him see that I am making an effort. That if he just opens his eyes and takes a chance, we might just be able to work this out.

We’ll see. Let’s just hope we don’t end up in Brokenheartsville.

Oh wait, that’s Joe Nichols, isn’t it…

~As Always, Ali

Oh Gods… What Next?

*sometime the next morning*

Crap, crap, crap!!

Red and I went out last night to loosen up and try and make things right. She’s still vowing revenge against Billy for sleeping with me, and I guess I can understand that. Knowing I was in absolutely no shape to be driving, I had a friend take me back home with him. So, he and his roommate put me up for the night.

Trouble is, Blake was home when I came stumbling in this morning. And he was pissed. He wasn’t even supposed to be in TOWN let alone home. And despite swearing on my life that it was all on the up and up, the minute he heard what she did…

I guess I ought to tell you now that she found a really cute blue-eyed cowboy to take her home. He was just gorgeous. And friendly as can be. Turns out, Blake knows him. OY! So, when she called to tell me about her night…

…well, he freakin’ flipped. Yelling, screaming, waving his arms – you name it, he did it. Eventually, he accused me of finding someone too and asked for his key back. Threw me out of the house and wouldn’t even let me get a spare set of clothes. Reluctantly, I gave him his key back. And his ring. And now I suppose I ought to prepare for the divorce that’s coming.

*sobs loudly*

How did this happen? As I sit here in my little room on base, I wonder how I managed to get kicked out of my house for not actually doing anything. *sighs* I don’t know. I can’t wrap my head around it at the moment. I’m not sure I want to, either.

I don’t know what to do. Help!

~Sad and confused, Ali

Revenge Is Sweet…

...or so they tell me. It’s been two weeks and Scarlett’s still upset over what happened while she was on assignment. I guess I can’t blame her. After all, I doubt I’d have been as calm as she was after finding out her best friend had slept with her boyfriend.

Although, that’s another story in itself.

I think I’m going to drag her out tonight for some fun. Get her out of this funk and back to herself. I need to do something. She’s not mad at me anymore, but I still feel like hell over what happened. I need to find a way to be sure we’re cool so I can get on with my life again.

I’m thinkin’ that drinks at Hangers might be in order…

The only trouble is, she feels that Billy needs to ‘pay’ for what he did. I agree, but I’m not sure what she has in mind. I guess that means I’m just along for the ride then? Guess it’s a good thing Blake’s not around this week. Could turn into a long night…


Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Deep Breaths

*Several Hours Later*

Okay… deeeep breaths, Ali, deep breaths.

Here’s the situation:

Blake comes home, best friend Billy in tow. Blake makes margaritas for one – ME. I get trashed off his sabotaged maggies, they haul me off and have their merry way with me.

Now, knowing my Cowboy and knowing his friend, and liking his friend, I normally wouldn’t be so up in arms about this whole situation. I would’ve much rather been sober, but hey, you know… But, and this is a biggie: BILLY IS DATING MY BEST FRIEND! WTF were THEY thinking?

I trust Blake, more than any man in a long, long time, but this was just dumb. Why me? Why now? And I still don’t know what I’m gonna tell Red. *sigh* I think I’m gonna have to show up bearing a bottle of tequila.

Add to all this, the fact that I’m now stuck at work, sore, tired and half-drunk still. Crap. And now they’re yelling at me. Let’s just hope they’re telling me to go home and not sending into lockup. Shhhh… I wasn’t ever here…


What Was I Thinkin’?

Holy crap… What was I thinking is right! Damn Blake and his freakin’ margaritas anyway! If they’d only asked… Just ASK boys…

*beats head into desk narrowly missing keyboard*

Now what am I going to tell Shana? I think she might just murder me. The alcohol is no excuse. She’ll hate me for what happened. And if I’m the reason they split up?

Oh gods… I need a paper bag.

~One Freaked Out Ali

Monday, March 19, 2007

Jail Time…

Oh, but it was soooo worth it. *snort*

That stupid little chit that Blake had been dating showed up at Hangers tonight. Why, I’ll never know. Unless she was looking for a leatherneck or other military-type man, she had no reason to be where she was.

And she certainly didn’t have any reason to get in my face.

I can guarantee that it’s the last time she’ll ever do that, at least. You can call me a cow, a bitch, hell, I’ll even put up with whore. But you just do not, and I mean do not, call me a home wrecker. I’ve already had one marriage that ended badly – I’m certainly not gonna go wreck someone else’s. And I’m no man-stealer either.

He left her for me. But hey, how’s that my fault? And it’s not like he just packed up and came to my bed. It took months before he made the decision, and that was only after he had reason to believe she was screwing around on him. And she calls me the whore. Go figure.

Ya know, I hate beating down on a girl half my size but she took the first swing. I took the last. End of story. Or it should have been, had her two male boy toys not gotten involved. Red’s happy – as soon as they jumped in, so did she. She’d been itching for a fight. Guess I had been too, now that you mention it.

Anyhow… now I’ve got a handful of bruised knuckles, some pending disciplinary action and the headache from hell. But I’ve also got satisfaction. Dumb cow won’t bother me again.

I just hope my Cowboy doesn’t decide to strangle me when he’s home next. And I guess it’s a good thing too that Duke knows us so well. I think we might just get off with some cleaning detail instead of some real jail time…

~A Rather Amused, if Subdued, Ali

Gotta Love Vegas

Thought I’d surprise my Cowboy a few weeks ago and visit the City of Sin, also known as my real home, at the same time. I imagined us having fun, drinking, goofing off, being young people in love.


Once the shock of seeing me had worn off, he suggested we take the plunge. Yup, that’s right. Only three weeks after the proposal, he’s suggested we go ahead and get married. We were in Vegas, after all.

After a quick trip to get the marriage license and a stop for ice cream, we were ready to go. Looking back, I’m not sure it was such a smart idea, but it’s too late for that now, I think. Albie, Red, ‘Zook, Billy and Albie’s mom all managed to make it out on the short notice.

No representatives from my side of the family, thankfully. My Dad and my brothers would’ve only tried to stop us. And his family? They hate me and have been trying to break the engagement since they’d found out about it. I don’t know what he’s going to tell them now.

And so now, the fun really begins. Or so they tell me. I can’t imagine. All I do know is that it was harder to let him go this time than ever before. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! And knowing that our families don’t think we should be together only makes it more difficult. As far as I’m concerned, our being together and being happy is all that matters to me.

Ah, to just have a simple life for once…

Not gonna happen. Not ever. I think it goes against the rules of Life, the Universe and Everything, so to speak. Well, I can make it, with my boy by my side. Time to take off the rose-colored glasses, ya think? *snort* We’ll figure it out. After all, we’ve made it this far, haven’t we?


Friday, March 16, 2007

Lips of an Angel – or a Devil?

I can see him sitting over there, lips pursed, concentrating on the lyrics he’s trying to write. He looks at the paper, picks up his pen, scribbles, and then slams the pen back down again. He’s having a hard time getting it just right today. Frustrated, he’ll pick up his guitar, strum a bit and then repeat the whole process. I can’t help but laugh; he looks like such a kid in his t-shirt and ball cap, unshaven face the only thing marking his true age.

Ah, but those lips… nothing boyish about them.

My Cowboy has to have the most amazing mouth I’ve ever seen on a man. I’m obsessed I admit it. I can’t help but stare when he’s not looking. Wide, pink lips that just beg to be kissed. Sweet, deep dimples. Beautiful, white teeth that he loves to show off with that smile of his.

And that smile is enough to make me weak in the knees.

He smiles with absolute abandon. His smile reflects his fun-loving attitude, his outlook on life – all or nothing. You either get teeth and dimples or these two beautiful lips relaxing against one another, comfortable with their place in life. He lives his life in the same manner. Which is why I love him so much. You never have to wonder what you’re going to get with him – it’s always right there for you to see.

But then, that’s also why I want to murder him most days.

Ah, he must have found the right words, finally. He’s smiling again; bobbing his head in time to music only he can hear. For now, anyway. Before the day is out, I’m sure I’ll be hearing it too. I can almost hear his melodic voice floating over the guitar, from his lips to my heart. Will it be words of love today or something else? He loves nothing more than a good, old fashioned drinking song. With my Cowboy, you never can tell.

That’s all just part of his charm.

I can’t wait to hear what he’s come up with today. I try to be patient while he’s writing but I live for those moments when he perches on the coffee table, guitar in hand, hair standing on end, and sings the latest piece for me. Then I can watch his mouth move, forming words, making those beautiful sounds, and he never suspects. And I never have to explain either; I just get to watch and dream…

And of course, he reaps the rewards later. Still, he’s content thinking it’s the music that does it to me. If he only knew… I wonder if he’d sing to me more often if he did?

~A Dreamy Ali

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Makin' Plans

Well, now that I’ve got the ring… I need a wedding. Lol. This ought to be fun. Cowboy’s always on the road, singin’ his songs and I’m not exactly a girlie girl. *sigh* I hope he knows what he’s getting into…

Hmm, is all black an acceptable color scheme for a wedding?

No? Oh, okay…

But seriously, what do I do? He won’t be free for months and we have to do this before hunting season starts or it’ll be another two months… On second thought, what have I gotten myself into?

Good thing I’ve got friends. We’ll figure it out. Eventually. Red and I know each other well enough not to have to ask. And we can always recruit Jo, Albie’s now steady girl. I think that might work. So, whatcha think? September? Works for me.


Monday, February 19, 2007

Two Steps From Paradise

Well, now that my Cowboy’s gotten the hardest part out of the way – the proposal – and I took care of the easiest part – the response – we only have two things keeping us from a nice, happy life together.

His family.
My family.

His family shouldn’t be too hard. They’ll hate me, but they’ll gripe and pitch a fit and then let him do what makes him happy. If this weren’t true, would he be playing music for a living? Not likely. They may never come to like me, but I have a feeling they’ll at least tolerate me, for his sake, if nothing else.

My family, on the other hand, is not going to give in that easily. My brothers are going to hate him for being a hick. Think him inferior for not being a college graduate. My parents are going to reject him based on the fact that his family is just not up to par with them. But then again, neither am I. Any wonder why they abandoned me to jet set around the world? And I can guarantee you that no one will ever learn to tolerate Blake.

But I digress.

My family is full of snobs, old money that has more of it than they know what to do with it. They all have cushy jobs. Mostly with the government, but one brother does work in the civilian sector. But again, a cushy job there.

Oh well. All of the above are why none of my family is being invited to the wedding.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Post Valentine's Day Bliss

Lost in this moment with you
I am completely consumed

Ali looked up at Blake and smiled. He’d fallen asleep not even halfway through the movie. She knew he was a goner when he propped his feet up on the coffee table and taken his hat off. Knowing she now had the right to mercilessly tease him about this later, she readjusted the pillow in his lap and snuggled back down.

Turning her eyes back to the TV, she watched the silly comedy he’d picked out and pressed her cheek into his thigh. This sort of thing was so like him it wasn’t even funny. Insisting on watching a silly movie she’d seen a hundred times. Then falling asleep. Then, later, he’d deny it all with a glint in his eye. Knowing this, she often wondered if he had a serious bone in his body. Until recently, she wouldn’t have believed it.

Not until last night.

My feelings so absolute
There’s no doubt

She looked at her hand resting lightly on his knee. Still amazed at the ring that resided there, she sighed, content. How did they get here anyway? It seemed like ages ago that she’d first looked into those big blue eyes and fell for him. But then, when she remembered it at times like these, it was as close as yesterday. It had taken so long to find her place in her arms, but it all happened so fast.

Does that make any sense?

Remembering how distraught he was last night, how scared he was to even ask, she supposed it made perfect sense. At least, when you consider the source it did.

She’d thought the attraction was one-sided for a long time. Then, when she began to notice him noticing her, she figured it was nothing more than mutual lust. But that first time…

The first time he touched her, gently, smoothing her hair back from her face, smiling that trademark smile, she knew that for her, it was more. Much, much more. And that she’d been forever changed by her time with him. No matter how brief it might be.

Even if he never felt the same way.

Sealing our love with a kiss
Waited my whole life for this

Blake stirred, shifting on the couch, getting more comfortable. Briefly opening one eye, he watched her turning her ring over, letting it catch the light. Opening his mouth to tease her for doing what she considered a silly thing, he found his heart caught in his throat. Unable to speak, he just observed her actions.

She held her hand out, spreading her fingers, admiring the way the ring looked on her hand. Turning her hand over, palm up, she studied the way the platinum band fit around her ring finger. Smiling dreamily, she brought her hand back in, wrapping it around his thigh in a subtle hug.

Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe; his thoughts were in a jumble. Looking down at her, head resting in his lap, eyes slowly giving in to the need for sleep, he knew he’d made the right decision last night. He knew, more than ever, that he needed, wanted her by his side. Always. He brushed his fingers lightly across her cheek. That lazy smile he was so fond of crossed her face with the gentle touch.

“You missed the movie, lover.”

“I know,” he confessed. “But watching you is so much better. He skimmed his fingers through her dark hair, exposing more of her face to his gaze. “I think it’s bedtime.”

Sitting up, she agreed. She stretched; arms in the air, letting one fall on the back of his neck when she was done. Gently scratching his neck, she leaned in for a kiss.

“Just one,” he murmured, pressing his lips against hers. “And one more.” He kissed her again, pulling her into his lap. “And now, it’s really time for bed. He proved his point with a not-so-subtle yawn.

Watching all my dreams come true
Lost in this moment with you

Blake stood, lifting her in his arms and carried her down the hall. Ali looped her arms around his neck, snuggling her face against his skin. Too tired to care, she slipped her jeans off and crawled into bed in his borrowed shirt. She watched him undress, tossing clothes to the floor haphazardly. He climbed in beside her, pulling her back to his chest, holding her.

Placing a chaste kiss on her neck, he whispered, “Sleep well, Cookie. I love you.”

She smiled against his forearm. “Love you too, Cowboy.” She closed her eyes and dreamed. Dreams of him, and her, together.

Lost in this moment with you

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Un-Valentine's Day

Oh boy. *she says in her best Sam Beckett voice*

It’s that time of year again. You know what I mean. That holiday that turns every woman into a gibbering idiot and gives the men a reason to act like one? Little fat cherubs with blushing pink cheeks flying around causing trouble, shooting arrows and crap?

Yeah. That day.

Now, I’m not a scrooge, bah-humbug-get-outta-my-face kind of girl, but then, I’m not Aphrodite either.

Why should your man have to prove to you on one particular day that he cares? Shouldn’t this be an ongoing, daily thing? Or at least weekly? I’d like to think so. I know that if my cowboy doesn’t at least call to say hi every now and then, he gets his butt whupped. But then, he’s another story. This is what kills me…

Why is it that you’ve been seeing this man for eighteen months or so and he often calls just to see how your day is going. Other times, he surprises you with a CD by your favorite artist or a new book you’ve been meaning to buy. And then other times he treats you to a night out or something else equally special. Never anything major, but always enough.

So, why is it you go ballistic when he forgets that one holiday? Or, he
does remember but doesn’t go whole hog like your friend’s boyfriend? You just got a card and a nice home-cooked meal that, for once, you didn’t have to clean up. She got diamond earrings and a night on the town.

What you conveniently forget is that her boyfriend never calls. She is the one to plan all their dates.
She is the one waiting on him all the time. He remembers her only three times a year – those three events where he’s required to: birthday, Christmas, and this dreaded one.

So, why are you whining?

It’s started here already. People pairing up, or attempting to. The whispers, the secrets, the planning. I hate that my Blake isn’t going to be around, but that’s how it works. At least he won’t feel pressured into competing with these dopes around here, each trying to outdo the other for the sake of one night of fun. We can celebrate later on. Maybe in March. Yeah, that sounds good to me.

But then, he loves to surprise me.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Either way, I know how he feels about me and I’ve made my feelings more than clear. He knows that a simple call means more than diamonds or gold. Although, chocolate is always a nice supplement…


Sorry. Mind wandered there a bit. But seriously, when you know and he knows why does it matter so much? Should it? Not to me, it doesn’t. I have my man; he cares, and lets me know it. Do I need all the hype? No. Are presents nice? Hell yeah, but they’re not needed. I’d rather see that look in his eyes when we’ve been apart for too long. Or the smile on his face after an afternoon walking in the park.

That’s what it’s all about.


Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Sugar Sugar

Ah, the power of advertising. See what happens when I try and make my Cowboy happy? *sigh* This is the LAST time I buy something just because I see it on TV...


“What the hell is on your mouth?” he asked, moving in for a closer look.

“New stuff to go over your lip gloss. Makes your lips all sparkly. And sexy.”

He looked more closely at her lips and shook his head. “Sorry. I prefer non-sparkly lips.” Tilting her chin up with one hand, he leaned in for a kiss. “But, I’ll take a kiss anyway.”

They both looked up as Scarlett entered the room. “Hey you two. What’s… Blake?”


“Why are your lips sparkly?”

Frantically, he wiped at his lips. “See?” he asked Ali. “THIS is why I don’t like that crap!” He continued to rub at his lips.

Ali hid her smile behind one hand; Scarlett didn’t even TRY to hide her amusement. “Ah, but babe,” she giggled, “it makes my lips sooo purty! See?” She turned to Scarlett and pointed at her mouth. “It has a sugary, iridescent pearl powder that decorates my lips with a crystal-cut faceted effect. And it’s available in 5 candy-like colors.” She grinned, having practically recited the blurb on the package verbatim.

Blake continued to rub at his mouth. “Too bad the nasty stuff didn’t TASTE like candy…”

“Can’t have that Blake,” Scarlett teased. “Otherwise we’d never pull you off her.”

“Yeah,” Ali agreed. “Do they make Whopper-flavored lip gloss?”

“Just go away,” he muttered.

“So, he doesn’t like sparkly lips…” Scarlett began.

“Yeah,” Ali murmured, catching on quickly. “Mind sparkles anywhere else?” Blake just gaped at them, not believing what he’s hearing. “Nah, I bet not,” she continued. “Blake’s not into sparkles. Here, Scarlett,” Ali dug into her pocket, pulling out the new Sugar Sugar Lip Topping she’d bought that morning. “I bet Billy’d appreciate sparkly… lips.”

“Yeah,” Scarlett agreed. “I BET he would!” Tucking the container into her left front pocket, she walked out the door. “Meetcha at HQ.”

“Sure thing!” Grabbing a tissue from the end table beside her, she cleaned her lips of all traces of sparkly stuff. “There! All gone. Now I can kiss you goodbye.” She leaned up and pecked him on the cheek. “Better?”

His mind still stuck on the possibilities behind sparkly lip gloss… and the idea that his friend might actually find out, he shook his head weakly. “Um, Ali?”

“Not now, Cowboy. Gotta run.” She blew him a kiss and ran out the door. Closing it behind her, she grinned at Scarlett. “I think we’ve traumatized him.”

“Nah,” she grinned back, “but don’t be surprised if he’s got all five colors waiting for you when you get home tonight!”

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Bad Habits

I’ve been told recently that I have a lot of bad habits. I was astounded to hear this. It’s even worse when your closest friend and your boyfriend gang up on you. Not fair, I’m tellin’ ya!

Alpine started it. I was yammering on about something and he just rolled his eyes at me. When I asked him what the eye roll was all about, he simply told me I talked too much.

“Anything else?”

“Yeah, ya wanna list?”

“Sure. Knock yourself out.”

Here’s what he gave me:

Non-stop talker
Tendency to be sarcastic (Nooo, really?)
Computer hog (he can get his OWN)
I never put my blankets away when I’m done

I’m still not so sure why these are such BAD things (aside from the blanket thing, but yanno…), but you know how boys are. Anyway, while I’m reading Albie’s list, Blake calls. I’m grumpy when I answer the phone.

“Why so grouchy, Cookie?” he asks.

“Albie has decided that I have too many faults.” I tell him.

“Not possible,” he tells me. “You’re perfect.” Apparently, Blake has a sarcasm problem too. At least we have this much in common.

“Not according to my dear old roommate, it’s not.” Can you blame me for getting ticked off when I hear him choke on his laughter? “So, are you telling me you have your own list?”

“Nooo, of course not, babe. Why would I be keeping track?”

Good question. His continued laughter is a dead giveaway, however. I wonder some days if I really, REALLY want to spend my life with this dork. “So?”

“So what?” he asks.

“So, what’s your list?”

“Babe, you have no faults, I told ya that already.”

“Babe,” I tell him, “I’d like to believe you but I think you’re full of…”

“BS!” Alpine chimes in from the kitchen.

“Yeah, somethin’ like that.” I concur.

My list of Blake’s bad habits?


Ah well, at least he’s trying. *rolls eyes heavenward*


Friday, January 26, 2007

Not Gonna Die After All...

I guess that means my cowboy will be pleased? I can only hope so. It'd sure put a damper on our relationship otherwise.

Cardio thinks the other doctor may have been smoking crack to have diagnosed me as he did. No matter. At least I don't have to deal with Albie telling me to 'either die or get on with it'. According to the cardio, I'm gonna live another 100 years. Not sure if that's a good thing or not...

Speaking of Albie... looks like he's got another hot date tonight with Cute Stuff. Can't imagine where this can possibly lead, but we'll watch and see, shall we? Haven't had the pleasure to work with this chick yet, so we'll see. I saw earlier that she's on my training list for next week. sigh When can I go back to just blowing things up and shooting bad guys? Huh?