Day Four and Beyond…

Despite the bitching, the bickering, and the pointing of fingers, most of our stay was uneventful, if a bit stressful. I tried not to let on because Blake would insist on doing what he thought was the right thing, and I just knew that that would cause so many more problems. I figured that I was a big girl and could deal with it for his sake. And Rayna’s not old enough for it to affect her. Much.

Things wouldn’t stay that way, however.

So anyway, I can’t even begin to tell you how hard this trip home has been on us as a family. We’d only been ‘home’ for a few days when Blake got some bad news. Well, sorta. It was one of those kinds of bad news that really can be good news if you look at it in the right perspective. I got it right away. Blake tried and eventually gave in. His family? Not so much.

And yup, you guessed her Chester – it’s all my fault.

Probably doesn’t help that it arrived on his birthday. While he was at home. Surrounded by his family. And I was playing odd man out and losing.

Sigh.

We were in bed (yeah, I know) when his phone rang. We’d had a late night the night before for several reasons and what you’re thinking now is only part of it (albeit the best part). So, we were snuggled and snoozing off and on, taking advantage of the kids actually sleeping in a bit. Unfortunately, we’d been expecting a all from Billy (that’s not the unfortunate part, the next bit is) so he didn’t even look at the display before he answered his phone.

I watched him answer his phone, happily expecting Billy or Shana, calling to give us an update on the baby that was so close to arriving. Instead, I watched as his bright smile faded and his eyes clouded over. Not good. Blake almost never lets his feelings show like this. Not even when it’s just ‘us’.

He mumbled something into the phone, snapped it shut and threw it across the bedroom, putting a hole in the wall near the dresser. This concerned me more than anything; he is a lot of things but violent is not one of them. Ever.

Turns out, he had right. The president of his label, and I’ll be classy enough not to tell you that it’s JASON MACKENNAH, calls my husband not just on his birthday but on his vacation to tell him they’ve decided the effort is not worth the reward. Translation: Blake no longer has a job. Yeah, you got it, they booted him off the label and bought out his contract simply because he wanted to be around when his daughter was born, and to spend a little time with his family. Outrageous. Pisses me off. I mean, really – others have taken much, much more time off for sillier reasons and never suffered any sort of backlash for it. Maybe its just Blake, chastising him because he’s not the next Tim McGraw or Kenny Chesney when instead, he’s just a guy with a good voice and a whole lot of passion and no more ambition than to go out and do what he does best.

Those are always my favorite kinds of singers anyway. They have nothing to prove and all they want to do (oh oh oh oh oooooh..)is to go out and entertain. Makes sense to me.

But apparently not to Blake’s record label.
Poor guy is heartbroken. And yeah, like I said earlier, his family is blaming me for all that’s happened. If I hadn’t INSISTED he take so much time off and DEMANDED so much of his time, maybe, just maybe he’s still have a job.

Double sigh.

I won’t get into the battles that ensued between his mother, his father, his sister, his stepmother and I that afternoon either. I’m ashamed that I couldn’t control myself on Blake’s birthday, especially after such bad news, but neither could I let them all place the blame on my shoulders.

I don’t know what to do for him. He’s helped me out when I’ve needed it the most, but right now, I’m just stuck. I’ve partially convinced him that this is a good thing – more time at home, more time to concentrate on his song writing (which suffers when he’s on the road so much), but yet, he feels bad. Feels like he should be the one supporting the family and making the money. I think someone forgot to tell him that he has enough stashed that it’ll be okay if he takes a few weeks off.

Ugh. If only Billy wasn’t so busy enjoying his new son. I know he’d know how to help me. Might have to kidnap Daddy later…

Pray for me? I think I need it these days.

~A sad and worried Cookie