Is It Progress?

Or is it Memorex?

Saw Blake last night for the first time since we split up four weeks ago. He and I have made a lot of headway the last few weeks, but still have a long haul ahead. I know now that we should’ve waited to see each other.

We’ve been talking three or four times a week, trying to fix whatever it is we seem to have. It started out slowly, with short conversations. Quickly, we got back to our normal ‘oh-my-god-is-it-really-that-late-already’ kind of calls. It’s been nice being able to talk like adults again, so when he asked me to come see him, I was all for it.

It was too soon.

Everything started out great. Dinner, some good talk, and he made me take my rings back. I thought that was a good sign. It should have been a good sign.

But then, all the old insecurities, the old jealousies reared their ugly heads.

Cheating. I’ve never cheated on him and, as far as I know, neither has he. But, the simple fact that we got together for the first time while he was with someone else makes him wonder why I wouldn’t do it again. He tends to forget that I was single when we did that however…

Fame. His, not mine, obviously. When we met, who he was, was the farthest thing from my mind. All I could see was this funny, handsome man with an amazing voice. I fell in love with his smile and then, later, his sense of humor. His wallet hasn’t ever even entered the picture.

Male Pride. He’s afraid that I’m just biding my time, looking for someone better. Or that I’m going to go back to what I had before. Three words on that one: not freakin’ likely!

It takes everything I have not to slap him silly sometimes. I love him. I married him. Why would I want anyone else? Well… you know what I mean. So, I think we took three steps backwards last night. I just hope his stupid pride will let him see that I am making an effort. That if he just opens his eyes and takes a chance, we might just be able to work this out.

We’ll see. Let’s just hope we don’t end up in Brokenheartsville.

Oh wait, that’s Joe Nichols, isn’t it…

~As Always, Ali